It's Dr. Linus to you buddy!

Ben teaching European history. Talking about Napoleon and the loss of power, "He might as well be dead."

Oh look it's Arzt... the last time we saw him he was blown to smithereens by unstable dynamite at the Black Rock.

The "Substitute" Locke tells Ben, "Maybe you should be the 'principal'." If the man in charge doesn't want to listen, maybe it's time for a change. [ a theme of overthrowing the crown ]

Ilana says, "Jacob was the closest thing I ever had to a father."

Wow, in the LAlternaverse Ben's dad is still alive. They did go to the island but left. (but it's now underwater, so what gives?) Ben's dad,"Who knows what you would've become." So creepy.

Alex is a student at Ben's school.

There are six candidates left: Hurley, Jack, Sun, Jin, Richard and Miles?

Richard shows up to meet Jack and Hurley and takes them to the Black Rock.

Miles tells Ben, "Jacob was hoping he was wrong about you."
Ilana makes Ben dig his own grave, while chained to a tree.

Lapidus tells Ben he was supposed to be the captain of 815, "Imagine how different my life would be." Ben, "The island still got you in the end."

Hurley asks Richard about why he seemingly never ages. Richard, "No I am not a cyborg." [ hilarious ] Richard says Jacob, "gave me a gift." and tells Hurley, "whatever he told you, don't believe it." then tells both Hurley and Jack he is "going to die."

Arzt to Ben, "Linus, you're a real killer."

At the Black Rock Richard says that he had been there before, but it's the first time he's been back. [ remember MiBLocke said to him, "it's good to see you out of those chains." ]
Richard explains that the reason he wants to die is because he dedicated his life to serving Jacob, believing he would be rewarded and now that Jacob is dead, his life has no purpose.
But he can't kill himself so he needs Jack to light the fuse on the dynamite.

Jack lights the fuse, putting Hurley is a tizzy, but sits down and says, "now we can talk." [ superpimp move Jack ]
As the fuse burns, Richard gets worried for Jack's safety but Jack tells him what happened at the lighthouse saying, "I know Jacob wanted me to see what was in those mirrors and that he's been following me my whole life, so I don't think I meant to die sitting here with you." Sure enough the fuse burns out before it reaches the stick. Jack, "You want to burn another one?"

MiBLocke shows up and frees Ben from the chains, telling him he's taking his troops to the Hydra island and leaving. Plus he wants Ben to be the new guardian of the island.

Ben and Ilana have a heart to heart about why Ben killed Jacob. Ben says, "No one will have him." Ilana says she will, meaning she will have him on her team to battle MiBLocke's others.

Ben chooses Alex's success over his own.

Miles digs up the diamonds buried with Paolo and the girl.

Sure enough Jack, Hurley and Richard stroll down the beach to join Sun, Ilana, Lapidus, Miles and Ben.

So there is team Jacob.

And team MiB is Locke, Kate, Sawyer, Claire and Sayid.

Somewhere out there is Jin.

And approaching from the water in a submarine is Charles Widmore, who if you believe what he told Locke in Tunisia, would be on team MiB.

So the only ones missing are Desmond, Faraday, Charlotte, Ana Lucia and Mr. Ecko and possibly Juliet.

There is a theme of role reversal for sure both on the island and in the LAlternaverse. And the way Richard was talking about Jacob, it was as if he were a religious man who had dedicated his life to God only to find out that God doesn't exist.

Sayid Doesn't Fuck Around

As we inch closer to Revelations, more and more is being revealed about the true nature of our Losties.

Tonight in the LAlternaverse we find that Sayid gave up on his one true love Nadia and let his brother marry her! Whaaa? This is truly a mysterious universe. Sayid and Nadia obviously still love each other, but Sayid said he didn't want her to be subjected to his violent past.

So Sayid's brother is in some hot water with a loan shark and asks Sayid to use his "techniques" to get him out of paying the continuous vig on the loan. Sayid says he has changed and no longer is a bad ass (remember the dishwasher throw down?!)

Meanwhile back on the Island Sayid wants answers from Dogen and gets in a Jedi duel in the Temple where Dogen tells him to leave and never come back. But before Sayid can even get to the door, Claire shows up at the behest of Smokey/MiBLocke.

Dogen has Claire thrown in the Silence of the Lambs well and tells Sayid, "Not so fast I need you to take this dagger and plunge it into the heart of the first guy you see outside the Temple, don't even let him say hello because he is evil in carnate."

So Sayid wanders out into the jungle and who does he see, but his old friend John Locke. And without hesitating Sayid does exactly what Dogen told him to, driving that knife right into Locke's heart. But to his surprise, it apparently is merely a flesh wound. MiBLocke tells Sayid that he will spare him and give Nadia back to him in exchange for delivering a message back to the Templeothers.

And that message is, "Jacob is dead. You have until sundown to get out and be free. After that it's go time!"

Meanwhile back in the LAlternaverse after Sayid's brother gets a beat down from his loan shark, Sayid gets a call from said shark and lo and behold it's Keamy (are old mercenary from the freighter). Keamy tries to tell Sayid that his brother still owes on the debt, but Sayid doesn't take that news to well and guns down Keamy and his whole team before the eggs get cold. On his way out he hears a rumble in the freezer and uh-oh! it's Jin who doesn't speak English and in this universe he and Sayid are complete strangers.

Back on the Island Kate finds Claire in the well singing some old favorites and tells her that Aaron is okay back in LA. Claire didn't like that news at all, giving Kate the ultimate stink eye.

Sayid goes to see Dogen one more time and informs him he didn't like being set up, so he drowns him in the spring of bubbling tea. Lennon comes by and screams at Sayid that he made a big mistake by killing the only person who could keep out Smokey. Sayid says, "I know" and slits Lennon's throat.

So Smokey says, "Knock, knock here I come" and runs roughshot over the entire village, but not before Ilana, Lapidus, Sun and Miles hide behind Hurley's mystery door. And Kate jumps in the well with Claire for safe keeping.

After all the smoke has cleared out walks Sayid, Claire and a bewildered Kate who has no idea why a dead Locke has a shit eating grin on his face and seems to be comanding an army of the dead. Conspicuously missing from this army is Sawyer. We last saw him in the Cave of Names where he told MiBLocke "Hell yes" when asked if he wanted to get off the island and go home. So, is he guarding a different post? Did he already leave the island? Is he going to infilitrate the 316ers in the Battle for Middle Earth? I guess we'll see.

They all turn and head out of the Temple seeming to say to everyone else left on the island, "It's On Like Donkey Kong!"

Island vs. the LAlternaverse

Sorry I've been out of commission for a while, but as the old addage goes, "If you write a column and no one reads it, does it actually exist?"

Is this all in my head?

Have I been claimed by another?

Anyway, so now we have Locke recruiting Sawyer for his unholy army, but will Sawyer actually fight his friends? Somehow I doubt it.

Kate is on a mission to find Claire, but Claire wants to kill her for raising Aaron. She seems to have no problem killing now (see axe to the chest of the other other).

Hurley takes Jack to the Lighthouse on orders from the ghost of Jacob and after having appeared on the Cave of Fate, The numbers appeared again on the Wheel of Destiny, showing a window to the outside world, proving to Jack that Jacob has been tracking them all their whole lives. Jackie no likie so he goes loco on the magical mirrors. Which apparently was Jacob's plan all along.

Someone is coming to the Island... could it be the return of our favorite Brotha Desmond? Or perhaps Widmore back for the ultimate throwdown with Ben?

Back in La la land, Jack has a tweenage piano prodigy with a mystery woman (Juliet perhaps). Kate is on the run again. Claire is about to give birth to Aaron. Locke is happily married to Helen and Hugo is happy with his millions.

There is something oddly unsettling about the L(Alternaverse). I believe these universes will "cross paths" in a most remarkable way, perhaps with the Losties all going back to the Island somehow as a result of the impending War coming on the Island. (But in the LAlternaverse the island is underwater, so I'm still working on this theory).